how do i listen to music

as i was listening to music to make myself tired to fall asleep i began wondering at the amount of direction that goes on in destroyer while they are getting things straightened out. you know, "ok, can you tinkle the piano a few notes right after these two guitars are finish with their tinkling, but make it sound like chimes on the wind in my backyard when i am doing dishes. in the rain." does it bother people to be instruments like their instruments when playing with destroyer? obviously it is all one guy, i think. they are all listening to one guy. anyway. the point:
so i started wondering what i listened to at any given moment in a song. oh, i realized. it changes and i listen to different sounds at different times and that is why it is enjoyable to listen to songs more than once;i catch things. then i thought of songs i do not do this with, where i just listen to it as a whole splash of an explosion of music in one big bite, sort of like eating all the sides and main thing and drinking and talking with your mouth full all at the same time. i tend to eat slowly and am commonly the last one finished at the table. sometimes i forget i have a drink. i tire of these songs quickly.
when i was younger i remember listening to whatever sailed the distant airwaves into my mom's suzuki as we were driving to school or grandma's or the streets and tending to focus on only the drums in each song. this might have been because i had a secret desire to wrap my hands around some sticks or because i didnt realize i didnt like those songs very much or i knew nothing of music beyond kroq. i just can't know the reasons.
i have evolved, luckily, and now listen to music in parts mostly or something. but i am still curious as to whether this is the right way to listen to music or the wrong way or a common thing done wrongly or a good thing. i am hoping it just doesnt matter, because i am feeling that i dont care, it doesnt matter. music is one of the easiest things to be a fan of.
-emily