what the mommies are saying to their children this weekend

happy birthday, but take a shower.
is it pulp fiction woooooooohoooooooo!
you look so pretty.
ooooohh yeah elmo elmo elmo elmo
thats not daddy
YOU pay for dinner
i gave birth to you
baby's not going to last forever, stupid!
her head look like a damn walrus.
we're leaving with or without you.
look em she gets blotchy when she cries like you, the only thing she got from you.
don't push me, baby.
dont touch anything that will kill you.
-emily