"everybody has their misery, but fuck everybody."

Girl, this week was horrific.
You know that part in all generic movies when everything goes to shit for the main character/characters and then it all turns around for the climax? Well, for me there was no climax just a clean bedroom and a functioning car. Everything is back to normal, but I was kind of beginning to like being down in the dumps during the rainiest week of 2010. I watched endless movies, listened to endless music, and got endlessly high, and anyone that questioned my behavior got a mouth full of excuses that really did justify everything.
Yet, for all the alcohol consumed and tears shed(not to mention the sleepless nights) I feel as if a purification as occurred.
I watched so many biographies yesterday. Including: John Belushi, Alec Baldwin, Chevy Chase, and Bill Murray. Bill Murray's was my favorite. He beat up Chevy Chase. I bet you didn't know that.
There was something very comforting in them all. Except Alec Baldwin's, he reminded me of Sam.
I bought Synecdoche, New York for $5 and couldn't believe how good it was. It was intensely thought provoking to say the least and just beautiful. I might not have liked it as much if I had seen it in a different place or time, which makes it even more special to me.

The laptop is really warm on my legs.

Two nights ago Mariam and I went to Matt McGuire's house and watched the Mighty Boosh(which is hilarious by the way). We sat in silence for the most part with spurts of laughter here and there but the whole mood was deeply personal. There was a point where Mariam and I were sitting on the couch and Rob catapulted on top of us and his elbow jabbed into my crotch. The whole experience reminded me of all of our friends and how reluctant we are to be completely exposed to each other yet we never fail to be overtly affectionate(you know what friends I am including and what friends I am not including). We can't help it. There is a concrete sense of family, dysfunctional yet mutually understood and accepted. I wonder how it feels to an outsider. What do they think of us and how we interact?

Come back soon.

-Carmen