i wish you had the internet, carmen

as much as i dont like them, as much as i find them repulsive and slow, old people love me. they think i am The Shit and i think they look like the shit. old people are uglier than new babies and pedophiles and if anyone wants to argue that point, look at an old person's skin tomorrow; it is disgusting. i dont get why they love me. maybe its the modern look of me mixed with the old fashioned conservativeness of me but those old people eat it up. i dont act any way to them to make them like me, quite the contrary. i am sullen and quiet and tell unrecognizable jokes. as a person, they probably would hate me, but as a stranger, i am the cutest thing they ever laid eyes on. a couple things i hate more than anything: liver spots, thin skin, old people blood, incomprehension, pink scalp, widened eyes, stooped shoulders, slowness, sluggishness, reliability, impatience (old people expect so much), labored breathing, shaky voices, loving smiles, old people questions, the comparisons old people make to connect themselves to you, old people's love of modern clothing, the question "how do i do this?" i think that all the time to myself, "how do i do this?"